Drag Queens and Walmart Rapists.

Oh my GOD.

Saturday night, I went to a nearby town to see the annual showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, possibly one of the greatest movies ever made. As you SHOULD know, people dress up for this movie like it's Star Wars on heroin, mixed in with Drag Queens, songs, and SEX. A LOT, LOT, LOOOOOT OF SEX. I just sprayed my hair white for this event, and passed myself off as a "transylvanian". It worked, cause my friend "Kendra" (COUGH COUGH HAIDEEKAE) brought her little sister along (Let's call her Pedobait.) and she had one of those gay leather nazi caps. It worked with my leather jacket.

When I got there, I saw Honeyballs (Don't ask) Kendra, Kendra's boyfriend (Robin.), one of Honeyball's friends, and Pedobait. They were playing Casper, so we just hung around in the back. And I drank Unicorn Jizz. (Hershey's white chocolate milk.) AND THEN WE SAW A MINI JUSTIN BIEBER. Kendra started screaming. It was so hilarious. So, we sat on a beach near a store, and we just were our loud, obnoxious selves. We met some random creeper (James Sunderland lookalike!) and these awesome ass parents who were taking their 3 year old to see RHPS too. He knew how to do the time warp. When that kid is 16, I'm stalking him like Pedobear stalks lolis. The movie was SUPPOSED to play at 10:30, but instead, they started showing New Moon. I read the ENTIRE Twilight saga, and watched the movies, just so I can make fun of them. (Although, Taylor Lautner is REALLY HOT.) and the entire time, Kendra and I were shouting "LIIIIPS!!! LET THERE BE LIPS!!!" And everytime we saw a Motorcycle, we shouted "NOT MEATLOAF AGAIN!!!"

So, us, being the retards we are, got in line for a haunted house we had no intention on going into. They had this person in a costume, and I was like "HEY! YOU'RE SEXY!" When IT clearly wasn't. It had security come and remove us. It was quite worth the lulz.

So, when Rocky Horror came on, my group was the only group doing participation. I was like "WTF" cause I was the only one doing it at first, then my whores jumped in later. We even threw in our own participation. (Teach me how to love again! / Show me how to be a freak!) It was HILARIOUS. We all got on stage to do the Time Warp, which was beautiful. After that, I had Pedobait, James, and some random chick we met go up with me for Rose Tint My World. Pedobait just stood there LIKE THE LOLI SHE IS and I have NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK  JAMES WAS DOING. But when Brad's part came on, I nailed it. I did it PERFECTLY, and made the crowd go apeshit when I felt up my own leg. Janet was pretty good too, but I still can't remember that bitches name. At least she let me us her boa!

Now, for I'm Going Home, I was surprised that I was the only one who got up there to Shadow Cast it. Either way, it was beautiful. I pulled it off EXACTLY like the movie, and even got into the crowd for the final scene. Appearantly, I was so good at it, the crowd went apeshit before I even ended. But when I go to sit down, guess who I find out was watching me the entire time?

My mother.

I was SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED. But I love my mom, so OH FUCKING WELL.
After the movie ended, this woman talked to us, and said she was gonna talk to some of the managers of the place, and try to have them replay it every month, just so I can come back. I never knew I was so good at being Jailbait...

So, Mom drove Honeyballs home, and I was having SEVERE nausea and stomach cramps. We were driving Robin to Walmart, where his mom would pick him up, and we both went in to use the bathroom. NO, I DON'T PEAK AT GUYS IN THE BATHROOM. FUCK YOU. And there was this weird guy in there, he looked 25. He was playing with the water. He said he was 'trippin on acid' and was like "Wall wanna buy somethin? I got weed, crack, LSD..." We were like "No thanks!" And he pushed on Robin, and was like "DID YOU MURDER SOMEBODY!?" cause he had FAKE blood on his shirt. We needed to get the FUCK out of there, which we did. He fucking followed us. He's all "Why are you running away from me?!" Um, maybe because you're creepier than me at The Rocky Horror Picture Show?

But then, he REALLY pissed me off.

"I'm supposed to be the stalker here. I'mma rape the both of you. Starting with the guy in the black shirt." (Me.) I turned around, and told him to back off. He told me to "chill" before he kicked my ass. I went up to the nearest register, and told them what happened. Yeah, they did nothing. So, I called mom, and THANKFULLY, an officer was RIGHT THERE, and she told him everything. He pulled the guy over, and did a regular intoxication test. He failed miserably. But he didn't have any drugs. But then the officers told us the most disturbing thing that night. "He's underage." I felt like SUCH an asshole. He was screaming at Robin and I from the cop car. I felt bad, cause we were standing in the middle of the Walmart parking lot, at 3 in the morning. Robin's mother was there, to pick him up, but we couldn't leave yet. She was patient, and really sweet. Either way, the kid's mom came to get him, and she gave us the dirtiest look, as if WE did something wrong. Um, ex-squeeze me BITCH, but I didn't want to risk getting raped. Either way, I went home, and PASSED OUT.

What a fucking night. ♥

Oh, and I just made my hair WHITE.